She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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