Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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