she was so not down for the gang bang
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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