im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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