We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I need to align my fucking chakras
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
