Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize