He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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