You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
