I just cut my nipple shaving
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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