Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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