He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
