I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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