This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The air was thick with penises
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
