Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
