I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
