thus making me awesome and them whores
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
