I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
