I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
