So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
