i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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