just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
