And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
