East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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