please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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