i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
