last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I party with great urgency now.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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