Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
