Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
