Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
