Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
