I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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