I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
