i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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