dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
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