pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
