i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Randomize
