i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
