Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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