just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
