no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
