Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
