oh god the rape fog is back!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
