sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Randomize
