You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize