I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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