There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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