sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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