Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
In America we eat man semen.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize