Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
