Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He shit in the fireplace
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
