So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
