Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
