I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
