Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
