i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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