I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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