Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
