When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
