So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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