It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize