I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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