Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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