Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
