one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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